My fear for the future generations...

I succumbed to the temptation of watching the video in which an older lady, who is a bus monitor, and four young boys (I wouldn't dare call them men) heckle her and make her cry. The video is about 8 minutes long and I couldn't bare to watch the entire thing.

Not only was I speechless when watching but it was one of those videos that are like a bad crash- you want to stop watching but can't. Trust me...I had to. I was appalled at the comments made by these young and immature boys. I was sad to see these ignorant boys continue to go after this woman even after she started crying. I couldn't believe that someone would be raised to think that speaking to someone and treating someone like that is acceptable. The entire thing is despicable and sad.

Immediately after watching the little bit I could stand, I heard my child cooing to himself in his crib. He likes to lay in his bed and hold on to his stuffed animal while being completely enthralled with his hands. It became terribly apparent to me that my child will face challenges like this when he is growing up. Will he decide to stick up for someone else if he sees them being bullied? Will he give in and join the bullying? Will he be the one being bullied? All of these scary questions came flooding into my mind.

Now I'd be lying if I said that growing up, I didn't say something bad about someone. I have done that. I still have moments when I'm venting about a situation and I end up bad mouthing someone for what they think about that same situation. Am I proud of that? NO! Of course not! I hate that I fall into that trap of being negative and bad mouthing. It's not a good quality to have and it is certainly not something I'm happy that I do- especially that when I think about what I said, I always feel guilty for even thinking like that.

I have to wonder if these boys have any guilt about acting this way. Do they realize how awful their comments were and how hurtful words can be to someone? I also would love to know how this will impact their lives later. We always say, "Oh just wait...it will come back to them. Wait until they grow up to be a giant failure." But will they? Maybe they will never have someone treat them they way they treated someone else. I may never know what will happen to these rude children.

The only thing I can know for sure is that I will try to raise my son to know that saying, writing, typing, texting, taping, and posting things, no matter what the content, needs to be done carefully. And that what you say, do, think, don't do, and see can hurt people.

Happy 4th Anniversary!

June is a month of important dates...at least the end of June is. As you read yesterday, on the 20th of June in 2011, we found out that we would be blessed with a baby boy. Well on the 21st of June in 2008, Noah and I had a beautiful wedding and in front of everyone we love, said our vows.

Four years...Just saying that we've been married for four years doesn't sound right. It seems like it should be longer or that four years have gone by in a flash. I remember getting ready for the wedding and eating Subway with my girls for breakfast. I remember Caitlin, our flower girl, throwing a fit because she wanted to see her mom. I remember telling dad as we got ready to walk down the aisle, that if I tripped, that he was going to have to catch me or he was going down too. I remember seeing Noah's face. I remember being almost numb from excitement that I was going to be spending the rest of my life with my best friend. Even now, I feel almost skeptical that this is all a dream and I'll soon wake up.

Dad and I trying not to trip

Saying what I truly mean

Noah sang to me at the reception...Green Eyes

Elephant Ears...

To my wonderful best friend:
I cannot believe that four years have gone so fast. We have been through so many ups and downs throughout our time as a married couple and I know, in my heart, that I couldn't have done it without you, nor would I have wanted to. You are my life and I love you more than anything.

Like the open seas and shores...

"Sexiness wears thin after a while and beauty fades, but to be married to a man 

who makes you laugh every day, ah, now that's a real treat." -Joanne Woodward

1 year ago today...

This time last year, Noah and I were finding out that we were going to be blessed with a little baby boy. We didn't find out the gender in the exam room. Instead we decided to surprise ourselves. So we visited the Babies-r-us and had the clerk put a stuffed puppy in a box- obviously the puppy that was the color of the gender. We were going to wait until our anniversary to unwrap the puppy but couldn't wait. So as soon as we left the store, we went to olive garden and opened the box. I knew we were having a boy. I just had a gut feeling. And sure enough, we opened the box and there it was. The blue puppy! I can't believe how fast the past year has gone. We now have a beautiful baby boy. How lucky are we?

Happy Father's Day: to my son

Ayden,

You are incredibly young right now and have no idea how awesomely lucky you are to have a man like your father in your life. Right now, you are "Mommy's little boy", but later, when you are older, you will be Daddy's boy. You will be excited to go fishing, go hunting, go hiking, go to Horseshoe, and just to hang out with him on the couch. You will want to be with him, to talk to him and to learn everything you can from him. You will admire him and mimic him. I'll catch you shaving in the mirror next to him. I'll see you look at him with respect and love and I'll know then that you are your daddy's son.

You will also be mad at him sometimes because he won't let you get away with what you think you should be able to get away with. You'll be angry because he's grounded you or disciplined you in some way. You will think he is being unfair and that he's forgotten what it's like to be a teenager. You'll probably yell and roll your eyes. You may even tell me about how he's just old fashioned and that he doesn't get it.

And then you'll get older. He'll give you advice when you ask him. He'll joke with you about those times that you were doing something "stupid" and he caught you- which of course led to your grounding. You'll share a beer and talk about stories from college. He'll be excited to see you and talk with you. He'll want to be with you and I'll see him look at you with respect and love because he knows that you are your daddy's son.

Then one day, you'll get married and have your own children. At that point, I'll get to sit back and enjoy watching this happen with you. At that moment, you'll understand how much your father has done for you and our family. The same way that I know how much my father did for me.

So throughout your life, please remember that although you will enjoy time with dad and you'll be so angry you'll scream at him, he loves you more than you understand right now. Just like our fathers did for us. And just like you'll do for your children some day.

Thank you to the amazing men in my life. You've shown me what real men are and I'm so glad my son will have someone to look up to as he grows into the man we all want him to be. 

To Pappy Bishop, Pappy Heckman, Daddy, Pop Austin, and Noah: Thank you for being amazing male figures in my life. I look up to you all.

To Poppy Tompkins and Grandpop Austin- I so wish I could have met you. The stories are just as amazing as I'm sure you were. I'll get to meet you someday.

And I'm back...

I know! It has been forever since I've posted. I can promise it is to because I haven't had things to say. I have. However, although it may only take a few minutes to post,I have completely put my few minutes somewhere else. Now that school is out, I will be back in full effect. So stay tuned and I'll be with you soon!