With the next few months and the inevitable arrival of my first born, I've taken up a few new "mom" things- some instinctively. Of course my nesting habits have intensified (by 100% as Noah would agree), but beyond that, I've become much more of a "housewife"-- whatever that may mean. For me, it means cleaning until I can't think of anything else to clean, making scrapbooks, learning how to sew (made curtains, a nursing cover, and I'm working on a few rompers for the little guy), planning for the future, saving money on things I'd normally snatch up (even when NOT on sale), and in general being completely consumed with the thought of having the responsibility (and strength) to raise another human being.
In all those changes and whirlwinds, I've grown to have a completely new found appreciation for my parents and the hardest job they could have ever had to do. Looking back over my 28 years, I remember saying SO many times- "I will never be like my parents!" Well I'm happy to say, I was wrong. I am becoming more and more like my parents- in a good way.
My father is the strong, silent type that thinks before he speaks so that he doesn't say something that he will eventually regret. He was the one that when I screwed up only had to say "I'm very disappointed" and my whole world would come crashing down. He's a spiritual role model and cares deeply for his family, even when he doesn't voice it. I remember one time as a child, I had terrible nightmares. An ongoing problem, I woke my parents every night being afraid of whatever I had dreamt about. My father, after multiple nights of no sleep, came to my room with his Bible. Instead of trying to force me to sleep or getting angry with me, he simply read me Bible verses from the book of Psalms. I'm not saying I was "healed" from nightmares or anything but I don't remember ever waking up in the middle of the night again after that night. Those verses are still something I read over for inspiration and reassurance. I find myself hoping to have his strength and willpower to think before speaking and raise my child to know the difference between right and wrong.
My mother is a more vocal person (that's where I get it). I'm not saying this as a bad thing- what I'm saying is that my mother has taught me to speak up for myself. I see my mother as a very strong person. She handles things in such a way that is beyond what I see other people doing. When some people would give up, my mom continues to push through- making a way for things to be better. When we were growing up, I remember my mom "doing it all". She worked a full time job (factory work nonetheless), picked us up from the sitter, came home, made dinner, cleaned the house, took care of us, cleaned up dinner, got us ready for bed, and (I imagine) continued to work after we were asleep. She is super woman. There was nothing she couldn't figure out. If you couldn't get a knot out of your shoelace (which always strikes me as impossible), she did it in a matter of seconds- while making dinner and talking on the phone. When you can't find your retainer first thing in the morning and you've searched high and low- mom goes to your room, lifts your pillow, and there it is! Or when your heart was broken, mom always knew how to comfort you. It is like mom's have an extra sense- not sure what to call it but there never seemed to be something that she couldn't fix. Even now, she is the one I go to when I have a question about something. So far today, I've asked her at least 10 questions about how to cut this pattern, how to cook that meal, etc. I only hope I inherit that extra sense for my children-- and become super woman mom.By no means am I saying I've always agreed with my parents or even respected them every second. I know that sounds awful but when we are "growing up", we know it all. It isn't until we are older, more mature people that we actually see the sacrifices our parents willingly faced for us- even when we were totally rotten to them. I am already seeing how people change when having a child. Noah and I have always known parenthood would be in our future together. We both know the sacrifices going into the world of parenting- financially, emotionally, physically, etc. I can't explain why specifically we want children, I just know that we love each other so much that we want to start a family. Hopefully someday, our children will be writing about how much they appreciate us and what we were willing to do for them because I am finally seeing how difficult of a job parenting actually is- So thank you mom and dad. There is no way I could ever thank you for everything you've done for me and continue to do. I love you both very much and am very excited for you to be amazing grandparents- just as you were parents to me. Thank you.
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